The holiday season is a time to slow down, gather with people you love, and create moments that matter. It’s a time of warmth and nostalgia, reminding us to enjoy simply being together.
If you’re caring for an aging parent during the holidays, you know these moments can be even more meaningful—but they may come with extra preparation and considerations. Balancing festivities, day-to-day life, and tHE RESPONSIBILITIES OF CAREGIVING can add extra planning and sometimes fatigue.
A thoughtful approach to this time of year can make all the difference as you navigate celebrating, caregiving, and spending time as a family.
When you imagine the holidays, they’re probably wrapped in layers of nostalgia for picture-perfect moments. Real life rarely matches those polished snapshots, and letting go of perfectionism is one of the kindest gifts you can give yourself this season. Focus on what’s realistic and meaningful for this year, given your family’s circumstances, to create room for genuine connection.
One of the easiest ways to reduce the risk of misunderstandings and holiday overload is to talk with the people you love ahead of time. Discuss plans openly and clearly, divvying up tasks such as:
Prioritizing these conversations long before the holiday celebrations begin can help everyone plan accordingly and keep expectations realistic.
The holiday season is a time of intense emotions for many people, especially if an older family member’s health is declining or your family’s traditions have to be adjusted. Alongside joy and gratitude, you may feel frustration, sadness, or even grief.
Instead of pushing difficult emotions aside, allow space for them to be expressed—for yourself and others. Honest, compassionate conversations are an essential way to navigate those feelings together.
This season is a perfect time to strengthen bonds across family generations. Involving your parent in holiday traditions and activities helps them connect with the rest of the family, but it’s essential to stay mindful of their needs.
Caring for your aging parent during the holidays involves asking them to contribute to the celebrations in ways that are manageable but meaningful, such as:
A few simple adjustments can make a huge difference in your older parent’s comfort and enjoyment during the festivities. Keep mobility in mind by clearing cluttered pathways and eliminating tripping hazards around the house. Plan for any dietary needs and alternative food options. Even minor details—such as offering a comfortable chair, providing adequate lighting, and encouraging them to sit where conversation is manageable—can make a big difference.
Caring for elderly parents over the holidays means paying attention to their emotional cues. This time of year can be very overstimulating, especially if excited children are running around the living room, music is playing in the kitchen, and the house is bustling. If your parent is overwhelmed or disengaged, it might be time to pivot. Provide a quiet space where they can rest, or be flexible and willing to leave an event early. Their health and mood should guide the pace and style of each gathering.
Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Caregiver burnout is real, and if your cup is empty, you’ll struggle to enjoy the holiday celebrations and connect with your partner, kids, and other family members. Your well-being also matters, and when you look after yourself, the holidays will feel more balanced.
Sometimes, the greatest act of self-care can be to say “no” to others. Don’t hesitate to politely decline invitations to events that will create more stress than joy. Block off time in your calendar for you to rest, enjoy some quiet, or participate in activities that recharge your energy.
You don’t need a ton of free time to improve your mood and energy levels. Take small windows of time in each day to pause and reset with a short walk, a sip of coffee in a quiet room, or a few minutes of meditation and deep breathing. Plan these moments as intentionally as you do any other holiday task, and give them high priority.
As you balance the needs of your kids, partner, parents, and other family members, it’s easy to forget to create joy for yourself. Engage in activities that are purely for your own happiness. Whether you read a chapter of a book, write in your journal, or watch a show you love, remember that you deserve moments of happiness this season too.
You don’t have to do everything by yourself, and asking for support is an act of self-care. It also helps others feel included and valued during the season. Consider when and where you can:
The simplest holiday moments often leave the deepest impressions—a shared laugh over a cup of tea, a favorite song playing in the background while it snows outside, or a quiet conversation by the fire. We celebrate to connect with the people we love, and too much hustle and bustle can take away from that experience.
Simplifying during the holidays can mean buying pre-made food from the local grocery store or your favorite restaurant instead of cooking everything from scratch. When it comes time for gift-giving, keep the wrapping easy (and eco-friendly!) by choosing gift bags and reusable totes.
When you’re with your older parent, kids, partner, siblings, and other family members, make a conscious effort to slow down. Put away phones and electronics so you can fully engage and be present with the people who matter. These moments of genuine connection create the strongest memories.
Instead of feeling obligated to recreate every detail from previous celebrations, focus on a few traditions that bring the most pleasure and meaning right here, right now. Whether that means scaling back decor or choosing one or two special events from a packed calendar, the goal is to create a pleasant and manageable time together.
As your parent’s needs change with age, you may also have to adapt holiday celebrations in ways that accommodate the reality of their situation, but you can make these new traditions feel joyful and unique. Involve your kids in the changes, explaining why the adjustments are necessary and how they ensure everyone can participate. When children see that the heart of the holiday is about being together and caring for each other, they are more likely to embrace new traditions with enthusiasm.
Caring for an aging parent during the holidays may require extra flexibility and patience, but it can also create some of the year’s most meaningful moments. Your family’s traditions may look different, but the spirit of the holiday—connection, gratitude, and love—will stay the same.
If you would like more information about the ins and outs of caregiving for an older adult, dig into our senior caregiving resources.